Saturday, 25 August 2007


Preparing for parenthood

Parenting can be a very tasking responsibility. Why? Parents have to work, pay several bills, pay for rents, attend social outings, watch their health, help their relations, buy material things and take care of their children among others. Arguably, taking care of their children is the aspect that needs the most of resources. These resources include time, money and love. Parenthood is a stage we should anticipate with adequate preparation because of the many responsibilities parents have to bear.

It is always rewarding to give special attention to parenting in or when preparing for marriage. When one prepares for parenthood, though a youth or young adult, one comes to realize why there are so many broken homes nowadays. One will even get to see what mistakes one’s parents have made and are probably, still making. You will also see the reasons for their mistakes and how these mistakes can be possibly corrected. One thing is for sure, when you take time to study parenting in marriages, you come to have more understanding than some of those involved in it already. And as such, you can perhaps help them out of their stressful lives.
However, there are many ways of preparing for parenting. We shall be discussing some of them in the next sentences. Nonetheless, you could still find time to discuss more about it with your intimate friends to expand your enlightenment.

(1) Discover your strengths and weakness : you can simply do this by getting yourself a pen and paper, thinking deeply (with reference to past experiences) and making a sincere evaluation of your characters and personality. These could be your strengths (e.g. confidence, self-motivation, self-assurance, zeal, eloquence e.t.c.) or your weaknesses (e.g. you could be pessimistic, negative or have anger, pride, unforgiveness e.t.c). you can do this evalution with an intimate friend’s help.

(2) Define the qualities you future spouse must possess : these are factors you cannot afford to overlook when choosing a life partner. Examples are religion, integrity, love, care, charity, beliefs, mindset, potentials e.t.c.

(3) Gather parenting-related resources : there are many useful resources one can gather and utilize even while one is yet single. They include:
(a) informative publications and articles about parenting e.g. magazines, books, newspapers e.t.c.
(b) movies that are valuable to parenthood e.g. cheaper by the dozen, what women want, daddy daycare e.t.c.

(4) Study practical parenting examples you see around : you can do this with the help of a journal. Study the parent–child relationships of the homes you know (including yours) and try to find out the secrets why there good ones and other kinds. Find possible solutions to those causes and make sure they are practicable.

(5) Save ahead: no matter how small, let a percentage of your income go to a special parenthood account (you may not even open a bank account. Just note the total amount and your weekly, monthly or yearly target but, ensure you keep a record of it.
Some adjustments can be made as time goes on. But, endeavour to stick to your plan.Though parenting is not an easy task, you can turn its challenges into opportunities. When you are less busy, take time to think of and write down things your parents can do to improve the relationship between you and them. At least, it’s never wrong to prepare for tomorrow while living today!

The Nigerian Factor

What is the Nigeria factor? It is the factor that causes many Nigerians to live their lives as it comes. In order words, it’s the factor that encourages vain living, corruption, lawlessness and lack of solutions. It has caused many to believe they cannot live better & more respectable lives. It has caused some to detest revolution subconsciously. The Nigerian factor is simply, the Nigerian mentality.

Have you ever heard someone say, “…This is Nigeria” or “… no be this country?” The pattern of thinking which many Nigerians have adopted is that which enables them to give excuses for their failures. No one will tell you they are at fault in issues concerning the society and nation at large. But, it is our former leaders that always get the blame. The painful part of it is that the few Nigerians that have made the decision to help Nigeria-by examining faulty their lifestyles and making corresponding adjustments-consistently face discouragement.

To make Nigeria realize her true potentials, we must examine ourselves individually. How many times have you received a responsibility on behalf of your country? Yes, our leaders also have their own faults! I’m not in support of the kind of mentality, beliefs and ideas many of them have concerning leadership. But if you were one of them, if you had the kind of mentality of them have, would you have done better? They are not totally responsible for why they do what they do. They are just being conventional. They have overtime, learnt the unjust acts their predecessors had practiced while in leadership. And now that they have the chance revolutionalize things, they choose to trail their erstwhile leaders. Or, why would a diligent, responsible and prospectful leader think this way? : “if it doesn’t pay me, then we’re not enacting it”, “what’s going to get to me from the deal”
I think you should start with yourself. If you decide to make a change, others will join you when they see your diligence, persistence and perseverance. Be a good citizen. Be a hopeful Nigerian. You don’t build a house by laying blocks from the top. Where will the foundation be? Will it be on the air?

To build a great, well-structured Nigeria, the foundation-the Nigerian people, citizens, masses, workers and students should all contribute something towards a revolutionary change every day!
Our future as a nation depends on many things, but mostly on us. Let us put an end to bribery and corruption, selfishness, self-centeredness, exam malpractices, inter-religions strife and tribal unrest. Let us begin with ourselves, so we can make this nation realize her goals. Let those who see faults in our leadership system work on themselves too. Let our leaders demonstrate greater sense of responsibility and drive. And if they refuse to do so, let the youths of this nation prepare for glory.

Let us prepare ourselves for a perfect kind of effective leadership. Let us build up our individual selves to possess efficient leadership skills that hate indiscipline and incompetence with passion. By so doing, we will be able to correct the mistakes our erstwhile leaders have made and keep making. After all, it’s our personalities that’d get better.

Do not be discouraged. Our diverse tribes and ethnic groups shouldn’t be a barrier to a revolution. Rather, they should be one of our means of impacting other nations. Or, who said we cannot live peacefully and wonderfully together as one? Never believe it but always dismiss it! Decide today, to begin making revolutions wherever you go. Keep the fires of transformation burning in you and let there be a drastic revolution!

The Road to Success

Everyone wants to live a peaceful, happy and fulfilled life but not all of us are going to see this desire or wish come true. The reason is because some of us don’t have what it takes to transform our dreams into reality. Everyday, many join in on the road to success. Yet, countless get lost on their way (during the course of their journey to complete success). This was confirmed by Robert Mager when he said, “If you are not sure where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.” When you don’t know where you going and decide to join others on their way to success, any bus stop is okay for you.

On the road to success, there are many mud-filled potholes and ditches. The road is jam-packed with people of different mindsets, backgrounds and destination. Your journey through this road of success will not be an easy task. You need perseverance to make it through. It depends on many factors but mostly, it depends on you. Your journey may be prolonged by failure, discouragement, unseriousness, dishonesty, ignorance and distractions. But the chief factor that affects people on the challenging road to success is they, themselves.

You can choose to ply the road to success with determination and survive and become a success story eventually or choose otherwise. It depends solely on you. Though, there are many difficulties and barriers on the road, you will make it through if you endure. It takes deep passion, good courage, full confidence and great faith to purposefully achieve success. Many people who have made that decision have had their lives changed. Among them are great men like Bill Gates, Theodore Roosevelt (late), and Michael Faraday (late), Benjamin Franklin (late) Brian Tracy, Ian Seymour, George Ohm (late), Pelle, Wole Soyinka, Ngozi Nweala and Dora Akunyili. The list is endless. These people have excelled and had some remarkable achievements in their diverse fields and endeavour. They were people like you. When they were young, they had dreams and ambitions too. Some of them had to face very challenging difficulties and situations of different sorts. They just had to decide never to chicken out of the race for the price of success. You too can decide today to use every pint of determination in you. You can try to use means available to you for you success.

If you have made the decision to join in and never chicken out, then I would like to congratulate you. I want you to know that you have made a very important decision in your life. Since you have decided to be outstanding, I will share some useful tips about “getting to your success-filled destination” with you. But once again, congratulations!

Firstly, set a goal and a standard for achieving it. A goal is something you want to accomplish. It is an objective or aim which you have in form of a dream or wish. A goal can be something you want to become, a habit you want to change, a character you want to exhibit or something you want to posses. If you want to get married at age 25, you can set it as a goal. If you want to become a globally celebrated renowned author, it is a goal. And you can even set more than one goal. In fact, there are long term and short term goals. The previous examples are illustrations of long term goals (i.e. it takes several months or years to achieve them). Short term goals include our daily and weekly goals. For example, anything you want to achieve and can possibly accomplish in a day or week is a short term goal. Back to our point of discussion, goals should be written down with ink on paper to make them real. To set a standard for your goals, set a deadline and guidelines for achieving it. For instance, you may decide that, in the next three months, you must have honestly and sincerely stopped the act of exaggerating when having conversations. Or, in three weeks time, I want to buy a portable Discman from the money I plan to honestly earn by myself (i.e. excluding the pocket money given to you by your parents). To know more about goal setting, get a relevant book that deals with it practically.

The next thing is to connect and network with people who can help you achieve your goals. These people may be your friends, associates or relatives. Whoever they are, just make sure they are of considerable help to you. Share your people- dependent goals with your trusted friends and everyone who will not discourage you. Seek their advice and make necessary adjustment .
You will experience some difficulties and face some challenges but never give up. Build your courage and endurance and learn from your mistakes. Be motivated by your circumstances, don’t be ruled by them. Maintain focus and keep away from dream–killers. Use every set-back to catapult yourself forward. When you fall, rise up like great men and women do. And don’t you ever give up!

Wednesday, 22 August 2007

True Thoughts

Don't call a man who has just won a million dollars a millionaire.Instead, Call him the man with a million dollars- for in just a few days, he could become a billionaire, remain with the millions or lose all he has won.