Psychology studies say that the human grey matter grows better when you actually meet your DESIRES, irrespective of how foolish, naïve, stupid, intelligent, scrutinized, thought-out, or inconsequential they look. That tells you something: FREE YOUR MIND.
Rigidity limits the freshness and growth that human beings desire and sometimes, the wisdom you need to GROW and REFRESH is just the permission you give yourself to be FOOLISH. Yes, be foolish enough to enjoy the emptiness of life, even when it serves you a hard or hot dish. In other words, if you permit yourself to be your sons’ playboy and your boys’ playmate in this season, you will enjoy the memories of being a child again. Now you are thinking, "Can I ever be a boy again?"
It is a state of mind that you can deliberately wear anytime you so desire. Remember, you won't always have such time to yourself and your family. So, priority fun should be given to them at this time. Be your wife's boy and your boys’ playmate.
I know a lot of people try to compare our holiday system in Nigeria with that of China and some other industrious nations. Some actually think we have more holidays than are necessary. But I have come to realize that we do not share the same work ethics with those countries. These are countries and economies that run shift-jobs and help adjust family time based on husband-wife planning. You can, if you so desire, run shifts on who would give attention to your children in such a way that one parent is with them at any time of the day. That is lacking in our country.
By the way, I told someone today how amazing it will be to have some business districts in Nigeria (particularly Lagos) run 24-hour service like we have in New York. I believe this will buffer the traffics and ease congestion as everybody will not have to go to work between 8am and 5pm. You know how boring these experiences can be! So for me, I call holidays parenting days, even though they can be so fake to the kids. The children actually want to see their parents more consistently. They do want you to bribe them with attention courtesy of Sallah. But at least the saying suffices, Fake it until you make it. The more you show to them how serious you are about this, the more they gravitate towards you.
We cannot advocate societal change and advancement without giving parenting priority and you cannot actually delegate parenting. No matter how skilful a surrogate mother is, the resonance of blood and feelings of originality from a biological parent are essential ingredients for great parenting.
However, the mistake a lot of us make is that too much quantity of food intake at a time does not increase the size of food your stomach can absorb per time. So invariably, eating 10 plates of rice and 3 plates may amount to the same level of energy. As a matter of fact, the 10 plate-eater is more tired because he needs more energy to push out the excess 7, if the stomach can only absorb 3. Now you probably know the reason why these 'Oyinbo' people eat in piecemeal. They've got breakfast, brunch, crunch (if it exists), lunch, dessert and dinner.
Finally, here is a dose of thoughts on resuming back from holiday or what I call the 'Vacuum effect' on Resumption. You will notice a slight reluctance to perform at the pace you used to do before the long break. Your 5-minute report before the holiday may take 10 minutes or more. Don't panic. It is normal and we always feel it. The discontinuity of work lowers work velocity. So what is the way to accelerate faster, before your boss shouts..."Do you think you are still in Sallah?"
Akinwumi Akinola who runs a professional empowerment initiative titled Special Programme on Attitude Re-Emersion wrote from Abuja city in Nigeria. He can be reached via firstname.lastname@example.org
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