Of recent, I have been having cloudy thoughts. Thoughts that are not in line with the original thoughts I used to have. Sometimes, I feel like a stranger to myself. I ask myself, who I have become. "Is who I am gradually becoming, this young man who is no longer ambitious, who I am actually supposed to be? Is this place where I have changed (whether expectedly or unexpectedly) where I am supposed to be at this point?"
The truth of the matter is, I am shy to admit to myself what the facts are. I should be afraid that some of my dreams are appearing far. But I am not. This is a great source of concern to my real self. When a young man gets to a point where he has to move on and he keeps thinking he has to remain stuck, then he assumes a new but rather unpleasant position in a valley. This valley is a point or place where he endures the night and awaits what is next. He is expecting something better, something brighter, something else, and most times, somewhere else.
I have been coming across the quote, "If you don't like where you are, move..." This quote has been coming to me in different dimensions and I keep wondering if some of the people who transmit this message actually have the power to read my innermost mind.
Considering the past and present, I want to move. No doubt. But I want to move in the right way. I want to follow my heart without feeling guilty or creating offences where they should not exist. I want to get what I want without appearing ungrateful. This has been a point of continuous deliberation and an unending source of concern. My thoughts have traveled to and fro like the pendulum of a lost clock. But I need to find myself again. Yet, it seems like the point of rest where I desire to go is something I need to figure out. I have been attempting to figure it out. Yet, it appears like there's still something missing.
Many times, I feel like a man who has lost trust and confidence in the promises of his present atmosphere. Maybe it's because I value trust and confidence. Should I not value them? Or, is it because trust and confidence are rare in the present-day society? Can I trust again and have confidence again in this environment? These are a few of the questions which trusted answers are yet to resolve.
However, I believe that my eyes are open to see the doors that would open so I can move on. And once that door opens, I will yank the it ajar (with much courtesy) and say thank you to everyone. Then shall I step into the next place of promise to commence the next phase of life.
So help me God.
Timmy Dakolo's song is great reminder for all youth who have something burning within; something they want to become, do or achieve. If you've lost touch with your sense of commitment to your purpose or passion, you should try it out.
A link to the song has been shared below: