I have had various phases in my life. There have been cyclic, transitional and repetitive phases.
Though many consider me a spiritual bloke, I do not know if it’s true or not. What I know is that I am a young man working towards achieving a great life and adding value to humanity. Part of what defines me include spending time with religious, or permit me to say, godly people. When I shine or show this devotion in some other places, they consider me spiritual. Yet, I do not know if things like reading a Holy Book, praying to God or attending church service as much as time allows are factors that determine a spiritual person. If they do, that is by chance. It means that by doing what I consider ordinary, others have given me an extraordinary honour.
I used to be very emotional. I agree. Today, I am no longer that person. Sometime ago, I had a girlfriend who seemed to meet the definition of someone I wanted to spend time with but couldn’t do so with and that experience almost took me off my feet. The issue was beyond affection or genuine interest. It had a bearing with commitment and trying to keep one’s word. As a young man, I actually thought I was being tested by the girl and the circumstances that arose whereas, life was actually going on and she really expected me to move on. This was the very girl I wanted to please by taking interest in subsequent academic venture. I had informed her initially of my interest in management and consulting. But since I did not want to appear like I was calling the shots alone, I tilted.
Till date, I still wonder if she was actually expecting me to mentor her. Was that her secret? I do not know since she never made mention of such. Rather, she took interest in me like someone who was also bringing something to the table. And, I never tried to define the relationship until distance threatened it. And for a girl that belonged to a closely knit family that seemed quite conservative, I wondered if the right thing to do was to ask for dating or talk about courtship. With the advice of friends who knew about it, I asked for something serious and got a negative and yet confusing response. The rest is history.
As a young man, I had a mentor who took interest in a different field. He was an intelligent bloke that many ladies liked in his time. I knew his field was a little different so I kept seeking how to close up the distance. Along the line, he seemed quite busy so, I added one more mentor at my workplace. The environment at my workplace was different and the personality of the other mentor was stronger. So, I had to try to balance the two sides. Sincerely, I liked both mentors and truly respected them. But as time went on, I tilted more towards the mentor at my workplace.
Somewhere along the line. The first mentor flew outside the country for MBA; something that I had personally asked him about when he graduated from university. I remember that he also got married to a beautiful and intelligent lady. Perhaps, that was another reason why I became interested in intelligent ladies; asides the intelligence facts that a Sunday school teacher once gave. Anyways, catching up with the mentor later became difficult. Several months came and went and I suddenly realised that I had changed jobs. I had changed accommodation. I had changed friends. Yet, my expectations were appearing more difficult to meet up with. But I was hopeful and persevering until things went spiritual.
Today, in retrospect, I would say that if there are things that I could redo, if there is a way I could take back the hands of time or if there is a way I could catch up with the goals I set and lost touch with, I would appreciate such and follow suit. I only hope such opportunity, if or when it comes, does not make itself ambiguous, vague or impossible.